Traveling from northwest Washington to central South Carolina is almost as far as one can go within the lower 48 states of the US. Of course, Florida is farther South, and Alaska is farther northeast, but the two places are far enough apart that one notices quite a bit of difference in the culture. Even the names of the places are enough different for us to notice. Both the town where we live and the town where our daughter lives are small enough to be considered to be “out in the country” by those who live in cities. Both are not incorporated, but rather what are called “census-designated places.” It means that there are enough people clustered in neighborhoods for the area to look like a village or town, but rural enough to not have a unique post office or municipal government. But the names are illustrative of the difference in culture. We live in Birch Bay - a name that describes the geography and fauna of our location. Our daughter lives in Dalzell - a name that could almost be a different language. To our ears the name sounds a bit exotic.

Many of our daughter and son-in-law’s friends are military and have been raised in other parts of the country and, like our daughter’s family, consider their sojourn in this place to be temporary. On the other hand they tend to live at their assignments for several years. They purchase homes and settle in before accepting new assignments and moving to a new place. Because their service demands that they move frequently they learn the ways of many different places over the course of a lifetime. Our son-in-law has had assignments in South Dakota, Korea, England, Missouri, and Japan before the current one in South Carolina. When you move that often to such different places you learn to settle in and adapt to the culture of the place where you live. You also take a bit of your heritage and culture with you as you travel.

The neighbors across the street are an example. The husband was born in South Dakota and raised in Minnesota. The wife was born and raised in Montana. Their children have experienced living in several different locations and will soon experience having their Air Force mother deployed overseas for six months while they stay in South Carolina. The accents in that household are familiar to us. We know the subtle differences between various midwestern accents and understand the western culture of Montana.

But we also have met people who are true southerners. The receptionist in our grandson’s school is a true South Carolina native with an accent to go with it. One of the clues for me is that people like us, who are visitors to South Carolina might pick up a few southern phrases like “Y’all.” However, when we use that phrase we use it as a plural. Y’all to us means “You all.” It is a reference to a group of people. However, southerners use it as a singular meaning “you.” When they want to refer to a group they say, “all y’all.” We haven’t spent enough time in the south to have that sound natural to our ears. To us it seems unnecessarily redundant. But to a true southerner, it is an important language distinction, but so natural that they don’t even think about it. It is just the way they talk.

The language difference I notice the most, however, is one that our daughter and grandson have adopted. People down here use titles. Everyone is Miss or Missus or Mr. For the most part our grandson refers to all adults as either Miss or Mr. Generally he uses the first name with the title. “Miss Rachel,” or “Miss Catherine,” or “Mr. Paul.” The locals all use titles in a similar manner, using the surname in more formal settings and the first name in more casual conversations. But titles are almost always used when referring to someone else and often in general greetings and conversation.

I think that northwest Washington is a place where titles are pretty much eschewed. I have friends who are university professors with doctoral degrees. Perhaps some of their students refer to them as Dr. on campus, but they never introduce themselves with their title and it definitely isn’t used at church or in other community settings. To folks in our church, I’m simply “Ted.” It is natural and comfortable and the way I like it. I don’t need a title like, Rev. or Dr. or the very formal combination Rev. Dr. I have friends who probably don’t even know that I have doctorate and it simply doesn’t matter to our relationship. We almost never use the titles Miss, Ms, Mrs, or Mr.

So when we make the trip across the country, we hear references and addresses that are unfamiliar and make us stop and think. We try to use the titles that are used by others and we want our grandson to use language that is considered to be polite and respectful, so we try to model in our references to his teachers and the adults in their neighborhood.

I’m not sure if it is a cultural phenomenon of the south or part of the nature of a military community, but the neighborhood where our family lives is a very friendly place. When we go for a walk, nearly everyone who is outside as we walk by greets us. We pause for conversation multiple times just walking around the block. Everyone wants to know our names and gives us a warm handshake. Everyone knows the name of our grandson and wants to know how we are related to him. I have neighbors at home in Washington whose names I do not know and whom I’ve never had a conversation more significant than a simple “hello.” Of course we do have neighbors that we have met and with whom we’ve had more substantial conversations, but I can take a walk around our neighborhood without talking to any other person. Part of the difference is that people spend more time outside here than in the northwest. There is a difference in the weather.

The differences are part of the joy of traveling and one of the treasures of having a daughter and grandson who are at home in many different places as they move around the world with grace and ease. We are fortunate to be able to visit them wherever they roam.