I have live a life with a great deal of privilege. I have avoided some of the problems and challenges that others have had to endure. One of the privileges of my life is that I have been able to live with very little fear. I have lived in peaceful places without war for all of my life. There are many people in the world who have had to live with terror and fear caused by dangerous conflicts. War creates many innocent victims. The weapons of war are imprecise and people living war zones have to adjust to the possibility that death and destruction are close at hand. For me the wars of this world have always been in distant locations.

I recently commented to a colleague that I have been able to go places and do things without a lot of fear in my life. When I lived in Rapid City, I would accompany law enforcement officers all around the city at all hours of the day and night and never felt fear. Sometimes people would ask me, “Weren’t you afraid to go there at night?” For me, there were no particularly dangerous places in the place that was my home. Of course I often was in the company of armed officers, but I never was in a situation where I was personally threatened.

I know that the privilege of being able to live with very little fear is a luxury not known by many others in my community. One out of every 6 women in the United States has been the victim of attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. The simple fact that I am male means that I have been able to live without the fear that is present in the lives of all women in our country. I am of the demographic that is not perceived by law enforcement officers to be dangerous. The color of my skin and my language skills mean that I am far less likely to be the victim of police violence than persons of color. I am much less likely to be pulled over by an officer in a routine traffic stop than Native American or African American drivers.

The list of the privileges i have enjoyed in this life goes on and on. I begin today’s journal entry with these observations because what I have to say might be perceived to be a complaint. I don’t mean to complain about my personal experience. I am not a victim. I am a very fortunate person. Still, there are dynamics in our society today that seem to me to be unfortunate and that occasionally make me sad.

Parents are right to be fearful of strangers and their children. There are too many stories of children falling victim to dangerous folk. And unlike other areas of my life, I belong to the demographic of people who have abused children. Older white males are more likely to be pedophiles and harm children than others. Parents are wise to caution their children about the danger of talking to strangers. I understand that. But sometimes it makes me sad.

One of the delights of our travel day yesterday was observing children who are traveling with their families. As we waited for our first flight in the morning, there were several children a group not far from where we were sitting. One little one had been brought to the airport in her pajamas and was obviously still tired. She laid on the floor for a while as they waited. However, before long another family with children appeared and it was obvious that the two families were familiar with each other. Soon two little girls were laughing, hugging, and playing. After a few minutes, I saw at least two babies in their mother’s arms and four or five preschool children, all traveling.

The flight we were boarding would be along one, taking more than four hours to fly from Seattle Washington to Washington DC. The children were going on a grand adventure. I shared some of their excitement. I wanted to tell their parents how well behaved the children were. I wanted to tell the children that their excitement was shared by other travelers. I wanted them to have a wonderful experience. But I knew that it would be threatening to the parents and possibly to the children if I were to talk to them. I knew that the right thing was to remain in my seat and watch with a smile on my face. I didn’t want to do things that would be threatening to the children.

As we walked down the jetway on one of our flights yesterday, Susan struck up a conversation with a child who was traveling with a man I assume was her father. She had carried her own boarding pass and had held it under the scanner as they prepared to board. Susan commented on how responsible she had been. The child smiled at the compliment. I enjoyed watching the conversation, but I also knew that I would not have been able to have one like that with a child that I did not know and whose parents had no way of trusting me. I need to keep my distance.

I wish I could simply be natural with the children I meet. They add so much to the quality of my life, but I know that their safety demands that I keep my distance. I know that I could easily make a child or a parent fearful if I approach or initiate a conversation. And it makes me sad, partly for myself because of what I experience as missed opportunity. Mostly, however, it makes me sad that we live in a society where children are put at risk. We live in a world where people, some of whom look like me, take advantage of children and cause them harm. I would prefer to live in a society where children are always protected and never at risk. Because of my wish for the safety of all children, I need to be careful about how I appear to children and their parents. I can still watch children and I can wave back if they wave at me. I can smile and I can tell parents that their children are well behaved, but there is a distance that is important to maintain.

It is, I know, a small complaint. I am a very privileged person. And I can use that privilege to do what I can to protect children so that they can live and grow and experience the world without fear.