We had a gloriously fun good time at our house last evening. The supper plan was a nacho bar. I put out chips, spiced beef, refried beans, grated cheese, queso, guacamole, salsa, and pico de gallo. We helped the children to fill their plates and then served ourselves. The one-year-old baby had a slightly modified diet with so bread and pureed chicken. He really went for the cherry tomatoes. Our daughter-in-law was working late at her private practice so our son was responsible for four children.

Our one-year-old likes to feed himself, and when he does so, he is capable of making quite a mess. As his father tried to spoon food into his mouth, he reached out with his hands and grabbed the spoon. In the process he managed to get food in his hair, on his face, and both hands. The floor around the high chair was littered with bits of food. While his father took him to the bathroom for a bit of cleaning, we cleaned up the high chair and the floor and cleared the dishes from the table.

No sooner than we had wiped down the plastic tablecloth, a very nice and necessary element in our dining planning these days, the two girls got to work on a craft project, making Valentine cards. Susan keeps a stocked craft table in the corner of the room with colored pencils, paper, ribbons, and other craft supplies. Soon the craft had moved to and taken over the dining room table.

Meanwhile the baby was enjoying some toys spread out on a quilt in the middle of the floor in the living room. His older brother and his father were giving him plenty of attention while I finished up loading the dishwasher and putting away the food in the kitchen.

Saturdays are early evenings at our house. Our son and his children headed home to baths and other Saturday night activities and we spent a little while cleaning up. I’m not sure when it happened, but there was also time for the children to get out some of the toys from the upstairs play room.

One of the features I love most about the house where we now live is that it is filled with evidence that children come here often. We have a room full of toys upstairs. We have a craft table in our dining room. We have children’s artwork on the refrigerator and in a couple of other places. The fireplace mantle is adorned with a line of Lego mini figures. The walls have pictures of our children when they were younger and of all of our grandchildren. I like the way this house feels.

A few years ago, when we were feeling a big overwhelmed by the task of sorting through the accumulations of living 25 years in the same home and preparing to move, a young colleague had little sympathy for our frustrations. The colleague spoke of minimalism and quoted Marie Kondo, claiming that getting rid of everything that didn’t spark immediate joy. I joked at the time that the colleague must have a brother or sister who took responsibility for family heirloom items because there was no chance of them surviving in that person’s home. I also joked that there was nothing wrong with that colleague that a couple of children wouldn’t cure.

My jokes have proven to be prophetic. To those who are still living in “sparking joy” of uncluttered homes, who know how to fold their clothes into little packages, who have gotten rid of duplicate tools in their kitchens and who have garages that are free from clutter, I have my own Marie Kondo quote. The Washington Post reported her saying, “My home is messy.” A few years and a few life experiences have changed her priorities. “I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. No I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”

Nothing challenges minimalism like having children around. A simple walk with the children brings rocks and sticks and leaves and other items into the house. A five year old with a pair of scissors can turn a single sheet of paper into a hundred little bits. Throw in a little glue and some markers and the joy of making Valentines for folks in the church who are not able to get out as much as they’d like and you might even entertain the thought of going to bed with a bit of mess on the surface of the craft table.

The Washington Post website was filled with comments on its quote from Kondo. Some people seemed to be really angry. Some really uptight people called Kondo a hypocrite, having relaxed her standards. Most of the comments, however, were fairly positive. People were relieved to be released, just a little bit, from those impossible neat-freak standards. I didn’t writ a comment in that section of the web site, but it makes me quite joyful to see a person who built a hugely successful and very profitable careen out of tidying up and clearing away clutter admit that life changes and when it does priorities do too. “My home is messy” has become my favorite Marie Kondo quote and I’m eager to use that quote in conversation with others.

Toddlers might make tidying up an impossible task, but there is nothing that sparks as much joy as playing with toddlers. A home with children challenges the imagined goals of perfection.

Oxford Dictionaries chose “goblin mode” as their phrase of the year for 2022. I’m not completely sure what it means, but it is a reference to a kind of rejection of social norms and a form of laziness and perhaps even slovenly behavior. Maybe “goblin mode” is just embracing the mess that comes with real life.

We will continue to shed some of our belongings. We are learning to live in a smaller home. We have a job of sorting out family heirlooms and helping them find new homes. Along the way, however, we hope you’ll come to visit. Our home won’t be spotless. It will be lived in. And it will show a few signs of recent visits by children. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

I like having lego figures as a decorating theme.