Yesterday, I woke with plenty of energy. After breakfast and a shower, I unloaded all of the books from the shelves on the north wall of our study. When I remove the books from the shelves and pile them on the floor, I am amazed at how much space they take up. Then I removed the shelves and earthquake clips and took the units out to the garage. In their place I brought in new to us shelving units obtained from my sister as part of her downsizing. The new units are sturdier than those they replaced. They are also a foot taller and a bit wider as well. The corner unit is more efficiently designed than the big triangle unit I had made. The new bookcases are an upgrade for us.

They also are a step in an opposite direction for us. For the last couple of years, we have been in a serious downsizing mode. In preparation for our move from South Dakota we got rid of 12 feet of 6 foot high bookcases and the books they held. I had resolved to learn to live with fewer bookcases and fewer books. I have been careful to limit the number of new books I obtain. I use the library more often. When I need to own a book, I try to obtain the electronic copy for my tablet computer. Still, I love bookstores, and when I wander through one, I often emerge with a new book. I belong to several book groups and it works best for me to have paper copies of the books, especially when I am leading discussion. Being able to refer to specific pages is a help and I tend to re-read a bit more when I am responsible for leading conversations about books. And I seem to still need a paper book for some of my recreational reading. I like to keep a book that I’m reading on the table beside my recliner and I often carry it to the dining room table and sneak a peak over breakfast or lunch.

At present there are empty spaces on a few of the bookshelves in our new unit. That won’t last long. First of all, there is an antique mantle clock that graced the shelves in Susan’s parent’s home and was an antique when it was handed down to them. That clock has been in storage since we moved and I’m finally going to get it out of the box and onto the shelf. One its special space is arranged, it will have to go to a clock shop to be cleaned and oiled and made ready to run. Our antique clocks are fickle. They need regular attention from a person who knows what they are doing with old clocks and who can occasionally make a replacement part. When they are in their best condition they aren’t as accurate as the digital clocks in our home. This particular clock has to be wound daily.

As far as I know, our children and grandchildren have no interest in owning the antique clocks. We have two. We also have a mechanical clock that was a gift from the congregations we served in North Dakota. I don’t know what will happen to the clocks in the next generation. If I had a plan, now might be a good time to shed one or more of them. But I have no plan, so I guess the thing to do is to enjoy them.

By bedtime last night, I had the study back in shape and things were a bit better organized than they have been simply because I rearranged the books by taking them off of one set of shelves and putting them back up on the other. There also was time for a walk yesterday and a lovely dinner together.

Some days I have energy to accomplish several tasks. Some days come to their end and I wonder what I did that day. I definitely am not as productive as I once was. Or at least as I imagine I once was. I am less confident of the accuracy of my memory than once was the case. The way I imagine it I would have been able to move and rearrange those shelves as well as put in a full day’s work at the office and still have had time to cook dinner for the family. I think I used to do those kinds of things.

Yesterday, I needed time to sit in the chair and ponder. I was thinking of how best to arrange the shelves. I was planning what spacing to use fir the shelves in he various units so that the books would all fit. I had to think about antique clocks and moving boxes and I enjoyed looking at the rain falling. I watched a couple of YouTube videos. I made a cup of tea and sat with it. Somehow the day passed and I got tired and it was time to go to bed.

I no longer need to evaluate the value of my life by how much I produce. And I definitely need to stop thinking about how much I acquire. This phase of my life needs to be about distribution, not acquiring. Once we get through all of the boxes and sort and rid of ourselves of the excess that doesn’t fit into this house so that we no longer have anything in storage, we’ll still need to continue to downsize. It is hard to predict how long we’ll live here, but it is pretty certain that our next home will be smaller. I’ve watched enough people go from a family house to a retirement house to an apartment to an assisted living to a care center to know that even when one doesn’t go through all of those steps, the movement of the aging years is one of downsizing. I have much more than is necessary.

The short term goal around here is to sort through and rid ourselves of enough possessions to be free of having to store things at the farm. We’ve already gotten that down to a fraction of what it was when we moved into this house a year ago. And we’ve downsized a lot from our Rapid City house and a large rental storage unit. But there is more be done. I need to find the energy for more productive days. Still, I think I’ll reserve some time for sitting and pondering. It is one of the luxuries of being retired.