Prayer
19/04/22 01:00
I am not sure exactly when I was first introduced to the practice of centering prayer. I think it probably was sometime during my college years. I can remember specific times of practicing centering prayer during my seminary years, and I have encountered opportunities to practice with others on many occasions over the years. There are many traditions of centering prayer and many different ways of pursuing the practice. What works for me is to find a comfortable and quiet place where my body can relax while my mind remains alert. I begin by focusing my attention on my breathing. Each thought that comes to my mind is released. I think about it for a bit and then allow it to depart to be dealt with at another time.
After many sessions in structured settings such as workshops or classes, I began to observe the practice on my own. Most days I suppose I devote 5 to 10 minutes to the practice. After years of practice, I have learned to be able to use it in places that aren’t quiet, such as when I am sitting waiting for an appointment or catching my breath after a run through a busy airline terminal.
There have been many times when the practice has improved my life. I use the practice to help me deal with pain. I need to preface that by saying that for whatever reason, pain medications really work for me - perhaps even better than intended. When I was much younger, I experienced painful spasms in my back. I phoned my physician, who prescribed an opioid pain medication and a muscle relaxant. I took a single dose of the medication and slept for 22 hours, after which I was afraid to take any more. The same pain medicine was later prescribed by a dentist after a root canal procedure. Again, I took a single pill and decided i needed no more. In fact, I had to “train” my dentist to used less medication in general for dentistry. After seeing the same dentist for more than a decade, I convinced him to reduce the dose of Novocain to half of what he would normally use. That way my face didn’t remain numb for a whole day following a procedure. Now that we have moved, I made the same request of a new dentist, but he obviously did not comply.
So, it is possible that I have some way been granted mercy when it comes to pain. However, centering prayer seems to be a very effective way for me to deal with pain. In 2001, when burning a large slash pile at my mother’s summer place, I stepped too close to the pile as the accelerant flashed. I was burned on my face, chest and arms. After a bit of a wild adventure that included an 80-mile ambulance ride, what I now know was a morpheme overdose, a couple of hours of having my burns cleaned in the ER, and a few more adventures, I was receiving follow-up care in the office of a dermatologist. When my dressings were being changed, I focused my attention on my prayer. Later, when I was completely healed the dermatologist commented on how I would go into a “Zen-like” state when he was treating me. Not being a practitioner of Buddhism, I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I decided that he was referring to my centering prayer practice.
Again, the practice was a huge benefit to me a little over two years ago when I experienced the trauma of my wife having a cardiac arrest. She was in the hospital at the time and the arrest was the result of a reaction to medication she was receiving. The response was very quick and she was revived with CPR. After being transported to the ICU, she arrested a second time. I was witness to the initial arrest, and heard of the second one over the hospital pa when they called the second code blue. Later that night, after she had been stabilized, and while she was on a ventilator in the ICU, I sat with her and dozed in a chair next to her bed. During the night there was a code blue elsewhere in the ICU. I heard the call over the pa system and I could hear the team moving carts and responding to the crisis. I experienced what I believe is a panic attack. My heart rate became rapid, my breathing short and shallow, and I worried that I was somehow experiencing my own heart attack. However, I was able to shift into my centering prayer and within a few minutes my breathing was regulated and had slowed. My heart also had returned to a normal pulse. Knowing a bit about post traumatic stress and realizing that I was exhausted as well as experiencing stress, I was able to defer seeking help with my condition. After a few more panic attacks, I sought and received treatment from an excellent trauma psychologist and the panic attacks ceased.
In both my experience with burn pain and with panic attacks, I experienced real benefits of centering prayer.
The purpose of prayer, however, is not seeking personal benefit. We don’t pray in order to escape suffering or pain. And I have had the good fortune of witnessing the response of others to prayers. It is not magic, and I do not have the power to change the course of history, but I have witnessed others’ medical conditions improve as many of us prayed. I have know of problems that seemed insurmountable fading through the power of prayer. Having a prayer discipline seems like a simple thing, but we live in a complex world and there are many different perspectives on the events of our lives. There are plenty of prayers I have offered that seem to have been unanswered. There continue to be so many innocent victims in this world whose needs far exceed anything I have every known. I don’t pretend to know what to ask for. I simply allow the quiet to enter my life. It is a discipline. I do it every day. May I somehow contribute to the healing of the world.
After many sessions in structured settings such as workshops or classes, I began to observe the practice on my own. Most days I suppose I devote 5 to 10 minutes to the practice. After years of practice, I have learned to be able to use it in places that aren’t quiet, such as when I am sitting waiting for an appointment or catching my breath after a run through a busy airline terminal.
There have been many times when the practice has improved my life. I use the practice to help me deal with pain. I need to preface that by saying that for whatever reason, pain medications really work for me - perhaps even better than intended. When I was much younger, I experienced painful spasms in my back. I phoned my physician, who prescribed an opioid pain medication and a muscle relaxant. I took a single dose of the medication and slept for 22 hours, after which I was afraid to take any more. The same pain medicine was later prescribed by a dentist after a root canal procedure. Again, I took a single pill and decided i needed no more. In fact, I had to “train” my dentist to used less medication in general for dentistry. After seeing the same dentist for more than a decade, I convinced him to reduce the dose of Novocain to half of what he would normally use. That way my face didn’t remain numb for a whole day following a procedure. Now that we have moved, I made the same request of a new dentist, but he obviously did not comply.
So, it is possible that I have some way been granted mercy when it comes to pain. However, centering prayer seems to be a very effective way for me to deal with pain. In 2001, when burning a large slash pile at my mother’s summer place, I stepped too close to the pile as the accelerant flashed. I was burned on my face, chest and arms. After a bit of a wild adventure that included an 80-mile ambulance ride, what I now know was a morpheme overdose, a couple of hours of having my burns cleaned in the ER, and a few more adventures, I was receiving follow-up care in the office of a dermatologist. When my dressings were being changed, I focused my attention on my prayer. Later, when I was completely healed the dermatologist commented on how I would go into a “Zen-like” state when he was treating me. Not being a practitioner of Buddhism, I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I decided that he was referring to my centering prayer practice.
Again, the practice was a huge benefit to me a little over two years ago when I experienced the trauma of my wife having a cardiac arrest. She was in the hospital at the time and the arrest was the result of a reaction to medication she was receiving. The response was very quick and she was revived with CPR. After being transported to the ICU, she arrested a second time. I was witness to the initial arrest, and heard of the second one over the hospital pa when they called the second code blue. Later that night, after she had been stabilized, and while she was on a ventilator in the ICU, I sat with her and dozed in a chair next to her bed. During the night there was a code blue elsewhere in the ICU. I heard the call over the pa system and I could hear the team moving carts and responding to the crisis. I experienced what I believe is a panic attack. My heart rate became rapid, my breathing short and shallow, and I worried that I was somehow experiencing my own heart attack. However, I was able to shift into my centering prayer and within a few minutes my breathing was regulated and had slowed. My heart also had returned to a normal pulse. Knowing a bit about post traumatic stress and realizing that I was exhausted as well as experiencing stress, I was able to defer seeking help with my condition. After a few more panic attacks, I sought and received treatment from an excellent trauma psychologist and the panic attacks ceased.
In both my experience with burn pain and with panic attacks, I experienced real benefits of centering prayer.
The purpose of prayer, however, is not seeking personal benefit. We don’t pray in order to escape suffering or pain. And I have had the good fortune of witnessing the response of others to prayers. It is not magic, and I do not have the power to change the course of history, but I have witnessed others’ medical conditions improve as many of us prayed. I have know of problems that seemed insurmountable fading through the power of prayer. Having a prayer discipline seems like a simple thing, but we live in a complex world and there are many different perspectives on the events of our lives. There are plenty of prayers I have offered that seem to have been unanswered. There continue to be so many innocent victims in this world whose needs far exceed anything I have every known. I don’t pretend to know what to ask for. I simply allow the quiet to enter my life. It is a discipline. I do it every day. May I somehow contribute to the healing of the world.
