After a career as a minister, I have a lot of stories about tradition. There are a lot of traditions in the church. We have special rites and ceremonies that have been repeated for many generations in particular ways. There are words and phrases that are said on particular occasions. I often found it slightly amusing when young couples came to me to discuss their wedding. One phrase that was often used is “traditional” in reference to weddings. However, I couldn’t assume that all couples meant the same thing with the use of that word. It was not uncommon for couples to mean “like weddings shown on television or the movies” when they said “traditional.” One thing about weddings in drama is that they are usually much shorter than weddings in real life. The traditions reflected in the Book of Worship of the United Church of Christ and other contemporary denominations are heavily influenced by the rites in the Book of Common Prayer of the Church of England. In those services, there are two sets of vows. The first, vows of intention, the candidates are asked if they intend to become married and if they have come to the ceremony of their own free will. These are the vows that are usually responded to with the words “I do,” or “I will.” The second set of vows outline the covenant of marriage. Often the second set are delivered by the partners repeating after the officiant: “I (name), give myself to you (name) as your husband/wife.” In the book of Common Prayer these vows began “I (name) take thee (name) as my wife/husband.”

There are a host of other traditions surrounding weddings. There are traditions about who stands and sits on which side of the church, the order of participants in a receiving line, the role of the best man and maid or matron of honor, the order of the processional and recessional, and a host of other details. When I met with couples to discuss their wedding plans, I went over a long list of details to determine what the couple wanted and which traditions were fixed in their minds. It was also an opportunity to teach a bit of history and tradition of the church.

I found that people not only had a strange sense of tradition when it came to weddings, preferring some traditions and being ignorant of others. It was also true of funerals. There were certain trappings of funerals that seemed important to grieving families that didn’t come from the history of the church. Some of those traditions were specific to the region of the country or the place of the funeral. In some of the congregations we served, there was a tradition of a family service the night before the main funeral. The family service probably stems from a tradition of wakes or keeping watch with the body prior to the burial. These were generally small and intimate and filled with the sharing of stories. Often they were less formal than the next day’s funeral service. But we served in other congregations where family services were rare. I always tried to be sensitive to the expectations and needs of those I was serving, but I had to learn ways of discovering what those expectations and needs were.

The wearing of vestments by clergy is another area of tradition. I have found, however, that some contemporary practices are very different from historic practices. When I was growing up it was common for the ministers in our church to wear academic hoods in the pulpit. That tradition was no longer observed during my career. We wore clerical robes that were different from academic robes and usually wore stoles instead of hoods. I still have a fairly large collection of clerical stoles in traditional colors. The pastors of the church we now belong to, however, aren’t rigid about the use of colors. I never know what color to expect and they have many stoles in colors that are different from the traditional purple, green, white and red. Blue stoles for Advent have been common in some congregations while purple is the color in others, but I hadn’t encountered brown stoles before this church and at many gatherings of the United Church of Christ rainbow stoles have become very popular.

The church is not the only keeper of traditions in society. Military service is filled with traditions. There are traditions about when and how to salute, titles by which peers and superiors are to be addressed, and the wearing of uniforms. There are traditions for raising and lowering flags, playing bugle calls, and the proper way to fold a flag. Even before I was a minister, I served as a bugler for military funeral rites and learned specific protocols governed by tradition.

The death of the queen and the declaration of the king in England is filled with a host of traditions. Some of them seem a bit strange to those of us who have never lived in a monarchy and don’t understand all of the ways of royalty. For example, there is a very large rebranding going on throughout the United Kingdom right now. It isn’t just the changing of the word “queen” to “king” in the national anthem and in the wording of passports. New stamps, paper money, and coins will be issued. The old stamps, paper money, and coins with the image of Queen Elizabeth will still be considered legal tender. However, they will slowly disappear from circulation as the new ones issued have a new image. I just learned of what is an ancient tradition in the United Kingdom. The monarch is pictured in profile on these items and each succeeding monarch faces the opposite direction of their predecessor. We saw the left side of Queen Elizabeth’s face, but will see the right side of King Charles III. I’ve been unable to find any reason for this other than tradition.

Traditions change over time. It is interesting to me to observe which traditions persist and which are left behind as time passes. I suspect that I’ll start paying more attention to the images on money and stamps than before now that I’ve read about the traditions in England. It will take a bit of sleuthing to discover what is dictated by tradition and which is just the whim of a designer. It makes me wonder what our grandchildren will consider to be “traditional” when the time comes for them to marry.