Some time ago, as part of an effort to gain perspective on the news, I started to read articles posed on the BBC web site. The BBC has a web site geared toward an American audience at bbc.com, but it also has a site more geared towards a British audience at bbc.co.uk. I prefer the second of those two. It has a few articles with a distinctly British outlook and I often find small culture pieces there that don’t appear on the other site. It doesn’t exactly make me a world citizen, but it does help me become aware of a different perspective on the news.

Sometime last week there was an article about Nick Fletcher, a Tory MP, who claimed, in a debate on International Men’s Day, that there is a link between men turning to crime and women playing traditionally male roles in TV and film. His comments stirred several other MPs to comment and to question the rationale behind his debate points. I usually ignore article about International Men’s Day because I simply have not experienced any discrimination or oppression because I am male. I don’t feel any need for a special day to draw attention to the plight of males because I have not experienced any plight. I am aware of certain privileges that have come to me because I am male, but I have little energy or enthusiasm for some kind of a males vs females competition.

The article caught my attention, however, because the claim made by Nick Fletcher seems to me to be so completely silly. He claimed that “female replacements” in shows like Doctor Who were robbing boys of good role models. “Is there any wonder we are seeing so many young men committing crime?” he asked. I wasn’t present for the debate and there is likely a lot that I am missing, but on the surface it seems to be just like a pre-adolescent child who always wants to blame someone else. “Sure there are more men who commit violent crimes than women, but it isn’t the fault of men. They turn to crime because women are assuming roles in television and movies. It’s really the women’s fault for doing so.” When our children make such arguments, we work hard to teach them to take responsibility for their own actions rather than blame others.

Blaming the victim, however, is a long-standing tradition in male-dominated societies.

Mr. Fletcher has no interest in my opinion, but to his argument, I offer a story that I recall frequently and always think of on Thanksgiving. One of the holiday traditions at our house is that I bake buns. I make simple bread rolls when we are planning a big dinner. I like to have the rolls with dinner, but even more, I like to have rolls for sandwiches with leftovers the next day. Besides, my mother was a baker and she baked rolls for holiday dinners. My treasured memory, however, doesn’t come so much from growing up in a home where my mother baked as from much later. When she was in her eighties, my mother came to live in our home. It was a very fun time for us and we enjoyed having her be a part of all of our activities. One Thanksgiving morning, I was up early, preparing dough for buns and she, being an early riser, was the only other person in the household who was out of bed as I kneaded the dough. “Where did you learn to do that?” she asked. Her question threw me. I couldn’t think of any other possibility than that I learned how to knead bread from her. When I told her that I had learned from her, she was a bit surprised. We laughed at the exchange later because I kept telling the story.

I suppose that it is possible that my mother gave formal lessons in baking to my sisters that she never gave to me. I was the first son born to my parents and I spent a lot of time with my father as I was growing up. I started going to work with him when I was quite young and I always went with him whenever he invited me. I learned lots of things about airplanes and working in a shop and using tools that my sisters didn’t learn. So I suppose my mother thought that I wouldn’t have learned as many things from her.

My point is, simply, that growing boys and girls need positive role models, but gender isn’t the most important part of being a role model. Women can be strong role models for boys and men can be good role models for girls. I know how to bake bread for our family. My sister is a good, safe driver. I’m pretty sure that she was taught to drive by our father. Our mother was also a good driver, but when it came time for formal driving lessons, our father took the lead. Women can learn from men and men can learn from women. That seems so obvious to me that someone claiming, in a public debate, that female actors playing roles previously plaid by men somehow is linked to increased rates of crime among men, is simply a silly and false argument.

Then, again, no one invited me to take part in the debate.

I grew up in a household and in a community with a lot of positive role models, both male and female. I didn’t have a male elementary teacher until I reached the seventh grade, but I don’t think that presented me with any problems. I didn’t grow up thinking that boys couldn’t become teachers. Most of my childhood Sunday School teachers were women, but it never stopped me from loving the role of a Sunday School teacher. I’ve taught church school classes for all of my adult life and I enjoy it to this day. I’m pleased and proud to be a faith formation minister in a congregation where the lead pastor is a woman.

So, mom, it was you who taught me to knead bread and I can’t do it without thinking of you. And that is a good thing. I’m fortunate to have had such good female role models for my life.