If you are a regular reader of my journal you already know that I am not a big sports fan. The sports I love the best are those in which people I know are playing. I love high school and college basketball when I know someone who is playing on one of the teams. I enjoy a good baseball game when the players are folks I know. I follow professional sports just a little bit because it is such a topic of conversation among the people with whom I live and work. In the United States, it is a good idea to at least know who is competing in the World Series or the Super Bowl when those events roll around because it is sure to come up in conversation with folks. And, yes, I did become a bit of an irrational Chicago Cubs fan nearly a half century ago when we lived in Chicago for a few years. I’ve kept up that bit of fan status over the years, but, it doesn’t take much effort because they have only competed in the World Series once during all that time and that year they won. Odds are fairly good that I may not have to worry about the Cubs as a winning team for a long time and it is simply easier to be a fan of the losing team in my opinion.

So, among the many items in my gratitude journal is my gratitude for the simple fact that I was not born and I did not grow up in the United Kingdom. No offense intended, but I have to confess that cricket makes no sense whatever to me.

“England’s Ashes campaign began in depressingly familiar fashion as the tourists were skilled for just 147 by Australia on the opening day of the series at the Gabba.”

That is the opening sentence of a sports article on the BBC website this morning. I haven’t a clue what any of it means, except I think it means that England lost a competition with Australia that took place in Australia.

“With skipper Joe Root falling for nought, England were 11-3, having opted to bat on a green-tinged pitch offering assistance to the pace bowlers. Australia's attack was relentless, led by Pat Cummins, who claimed 5-38 on his first day as captain.”

Do any of those numbers have any meaning at all? Actually, do any of those words have any meaning at all? I guess I can understand that there are two people whose names are reported.

Later it appears that despite what seemed like Australia dominating the match, the weather intervened: “England were all out by tea, only for a huge storm to wipe out the evening session and prevent the start of Australia's reply, meaning day two will start at the earlier time of 23:30 GMT.”

I already know that when someone from Britain mentions tea, they are talking about more than a cup of hot beverage. There are usually biscuits involved, which aren’t biscuits at all, but rather cookies and sometimes they also have crumpets and I have no idea what a crumpet is. I may have eaten one at some time, but I really don’t even know what shape or texture to expect from a crumpet.

And you think that a game that has batting might share something in common with baseball, but I’m not too sure because along with the batting in cricket there is bowling. And to my non-sports-fan mind, it is a bit difficult to imagine how bowling works when there are wickets involved. Did I mention that there are wickets in cricket? Like American baseball, there is catching, and I think a match begin with a coin toss, but even that might be a bit different from the ceremonial toss that begins every American football game.

The article reports that Australian captain Pat Cummins said, "It's all gone to plan so far today. I'm proud of all the guys. We stayed really composed. I was probably going to have a bat, but I wasn't upset to lose the toss. It was 50-50.”

I would think that every coin toss is 50-50, but then again, what do I know about cricket?

As I mentioned before, I try to read an article about sport from time to time just so I can keep up with the conversation. I’m not completely at a loss when it comes to sports and England. I know that everywhere else in the world, football means soccer, whereas here in the United States, football means American football which is played to different rules with a slightly different ball than Australian rules football, which you don’t have to worry about too much because they also play American rules football in Australia. The big difference is that the Australian rules don’t seem to involve helmets or pads or any other type of protective clothing. And the field is bigger. It, of course, isn’t called a field in Australia. There they call it a pitch, which has nothing to do with pitching in baseball. Is there pitching in cricket. I think so. Anyway Australians play football on an oval pitch with 18 players on the pitch unless they are playing American rules football which is played on a rectangular pitch with only 11 players per side. Of course American football games usually have two teams: offense and defense. I don’t think the Australians do when playing their football which isn’t soccer, but they call soccer football too. If you are an American and not yet confused by the accent, the words themselves are capable of confusing you considerably.

At any rate, I’m grateful that I didn’t grow up in Australia where I would have to have some kind of working knowledge of three games called football as well as cricket. I doubt that I could sound anywhere near intelligent in a conversation about sports in Australia.

Then again, I’ve been entertained by the Cubs for decades. It doesn’t have to be complex for me to enjoy the game. I don’t even mind knowing in advance who is going to win.