One of the joys of my life is the way that I was welcomed into the family of my wife when we married. She is the oldest of three sisters. Her parents and sisters were incredibly warm and welcoming to me. I sometimes joke that I enjoyed a very privileged position in that family as the first son. When Susan and I started to become serious about our relationship, the only male in her family was her father. Even the cat and dog were female. I have countless stories of how they showed their love and support for us as a couple and for me as an individual. It is one of the deep blessings of my life. As a result, I couldn’t have more positive feelings than I do about a family of sisters. In our case, it was an excellent place for my wife to grow up and an excellent family into which to marry.

In a sense, I was predisposed to think positively about a family of sisters because my mother is one of five daughters born to her parents. They had a large family with no boys. It was a happy family and the close relationships between the sisters was a part of my growing up. My aunts were each special to us in different ways and important to my growing up years.

Although my mother- and father-in-law are no longer living, the sisters remain close to each other and their love for each other has been an ongoing blessing for our marriage and family. I think of the sisters and their close relationships often when I hear the stories of other families. It is one of my points of reference when thinking of how relationships might work for others.

I was thinking of the joys of sisters recently when we learned news of a new granddaughter born into the family of a couple of friends of ours. This couple had five daughters like my mother’s family. Now they have six grandchildren. Interestingly, of those grandchildren, five are girls. There has been just one boy born to those five daughters. And we know that there is another baby expected in that family. If the ultrasound technicians are right, which they usually are, there is another baby girl on the way. I know that our friends are simply delighted with their grandchildren and wouldn’t want them to be any different, but I suspect that their grandson will enjoy special privilege and a special place in their family.

Our family is different, though no less joyous. We had just two children, one boy and one girl. Each of them brought their mate into our family, so we gained an additional daughter and son through their marriages. We have four grandchildren, two boys and two girls. A new grandchild is going to be born in a couple of weeks. We do not know the gender of this child. We will be delighted whichever way the balance swings.

Of course we know that gender is much more complex than the particular combinations of X and Y chromosomes. We have many friends, colleagues and acquaintances who don’t fit into the traditional either/or of simply male or female. Healthy families have plenty of love for children to grow and discover their own identities and expressions. And all children, as they grow, offer surprises to the ones who love them. Each new baby born is the beginning of a story with many chapters and each life will take twists and turns that offer countless opportunities for newness and surprise.

One of the joys of being grandparents is that of learning the unique personalities and possibilities of each child. Just as our own children surprised us with their unique gifts and talents, each of our grandchildren have delighted us with their individual personalities. Not long after she was born, our youngest granddaughter, who is soon to become a big sister, expressed her place in her family. She has often been described by those who love here as “fierce.” She asserts her fiery personality into every conversation. Once, when a playmate of her sister commented that she is “cute,” she snapped right back, “I’m not cute. I’m fierce.” The friend, who had intended the word “cute” to be a compliment, was a bit shocked at the response. It is a story we’ve told over and over since it occurred. Our youngest grandson learned to walk at the youngest age of any of our grandchildren. He loves to climb and we’ve sometimes referred to him as a “little monkey.” That nickname won’t last, however, I suspect. He is growing so fast that I doubt that we’ll be calling him “little” anything in a decade or so. Then, again, my cousin who had the nickname “tiny,” was anything but tiny.

In time these children will grow up and form relationships of their own. They will invite new people to come into our family. I fully expect to be surprised and delighted by the ones they choose. Just as I was so warmly welcomed into my wife’s family, I fully intend to make our family as welcoming as possible to the ones chosen by our grandchildren. Each relationship will bring great joy and open new futures for us. We have been blessed with good health and it seems likely we’ll be around to welcome more new members into our family.

When our son-in-law spoke to me about his plan to propose to our daughter, I commented to him, “You have to realize that she comes with a family. If she says, ‘yes,’ you’ll be getting all of us.” He gladly accepted those terms and has become a great addition to our family. I’m unlikely to be in the position for a similar conversation with the future mates of any of our grandchildren, but if I were, I’d have a similar response. If you fall in love with one of us, you’ll be getting all of us. After all, I have inherited the legacy of love not only from my family of origin, but also from the family that raised my wife. It is too good to keep to ourselves. We’ll be passing it on.