I’m not a big fan of meetings. I know that is a strange thing for a minister to say. Our lives are pretty much made up of meetings. I have had to be a student of group decision making for my entire career. With retirement, however, there came a bit of release for me. I no longer am at the center of church meetings. I continue to be a member of the church and I am active, which means that I participate in meetings, but my emotional investment is considerably lower than it was during my active career.

I have, however, attended two memorable meetings so far this year. Both have taken place over Zoom. The first was the annual meeting of our congregation. During the budget discussion at that meeting, questions were raised about the budget proposed by the Church Council. There were members present who felt that the financial priorities of the church were a bit misplaced. Specifically, the argument focused on a desire to have a smaller percentage of the budget dedicated to salaries and a larger portion dedicated to mission and outreach. Despite my claim that I am less personally attached to the outcome of meetings, I have to admit that there were a few awkward moments in the meeting simply because I am a member of the paid staff of the church. While I understand the desire for more mission and outreach, and I agree with those who are arguing for change, it was a bit awkward to have a few moments when it seemed like the argument was about me and my salary.

That meeting took 3 hours. It was grueling, not because of the arguments presented, but rather because of the time it takes to allow people to speak their minds and say the things that they need to say. The meeting was very well moderated, and I don’t think that I could have done a better job handling the discussion. Sometimes the work of the church is simply messy and takes a lot of time.

Then, yesterday, the annual meeting of the Pacific Northwest Conference of the United Church of Christ took place. Again, we were meeting over Zoom. Again there were enough participants that it was difficult and time consuming for those who wanted to speak to be heard. Again the hangup was the debate over the proposed budget. Again, there was the challenge of separating the ideological arguments about financial priorities from the people who are directly affected by major shifts. Church organizations have relatively few employees and those employees are always a bit vulnerable. Folks make direct associations between the individuals and the offices they hold. It is difficult to avoid a sense that individuals are being attacked when the intention is quite different. At least one person who served on the committee that prepared the budget took some of the comments that were made personally. Tempers flared.

Once again, the meeting was well-moderated. The leadership team was open to extended discussion and flexible in their plan. This time the meeting was not able to go on and on for extra hours. Instead, the decision was made to extend the conversation to an additional meeting, allowing more time for discussion and changes to the budget. We left the meeting without having adopted a budget or elected officers for the coming year. The only vote we took during the entire time that had been allotted for the annual meeting was the approval of the minutes of the previous meeting and the vote by acclimation to adjourn.

It is clear that churches and other institutions in our society have come to a point where business as usual no longer is functioning for the institutions.

I’m sure that there are not many who participated in the meeting yesterday would agree with me, but from my perspective as a newcomer to this conference is that part of the problem is that we, as a conference, have too much money. I know that sounds strange. Churches are not the centers of financial wealth in our society, nor should they be. But for most of the span of my career there has been an emphasis in all non-profit organizations, including churches, on developing reserves, investments, and streams of income different from simple direct gifts from members. Conferences still rely on OCWM donations from congregations, but they now have many special funds, streams of income from investments, and reserves. In a sense, those reserves have paid off during the pandemic when funds were cut short for many institutions. Individuals and congregations are all examining their giving patterns and meeting rising costs is a challenge for churches and other organizations.

Churches and church organizations, however, do not exist to play it safe or to avoid risk. Being financially secure is not the same thing as being faithful. I’ve seen a few church organizations come to the end of their lives over the years. Churches don’t die because they run out of money. They die because they run out of people.

I am not afraid to see the conference draw down its reserves. I am not inclined to put much energy into the messages of the doomsayers who remind us that we can only draw down reserves for so many years before running out of money. I don’t believe that the true reserves of a church are measured in bank balances. I don’t think running out of money is the worst thing that can happen.

It is a mystery to me that an organization founded in and steeped in resurrection is so filled with fear of dying. I’ve watched as the church has undergone reorganization, as staff members have come and gone, as offices have been large and small, throughout the span of my time as a minister. The fact that we are no longer in a position to do business as usual doesn’t seem to me to be a tragedy. It is, rather an opportunity.

Something new is emerging. And when new things emerge it is often unclear how things will unfold. Living with uncertainty is part of the life of the church. If a few long and sometimes uncomfortable meetings are part of the cost of building the future together, I guess I’ll have to lay aside my aversion to meetings and participate to the best of my ability.