Speaking of fireworks

My father occasionally received a request to scatter human cremains from an airplane. I went along with him on some of the occasions when ashes were spread. He devised a simple, but effective way to use the air rushing past the plane to create suction in a piece of tubing so that that the ashes were sucked out of the plane and none of them were spilled or blown back. He was a practical man and unafraid to help families comply with their wishes about the final disposition of their loved ones. Once, before he was sick, we had a conversation about why someone might choose to have their ashes spread from an airplane. His thought was that some people don’t want to have a place where family gather to mourn and grieve, and to feel close to one who has died, but rather to have the ashes spread so that every place can be a place of memorial.

Later, after he had been diagnosed with cancer, he spoke with me about his desire to be cremated and to have his ashes spread over a specific place in the mountains of south-central Montana. After he died, we complied with his wishes and later spread our mother’s ashes in the same region. Neither were spread with an airplane, as we didn’t have access to an airplane at the time. We simply hiked into the mountains to a place where we could see a particular feature and spread the ashes on the ground.

I’ve participated in the distribution of human ashes several times since. I’ve watched them disappear in a river and blow across the prairie. I’ve been asked to offer prayers and a bit of ceremony to go along with the distribution of ashes, and I’ve always tried to serve those who are grieving.

I have also officiated at graveside rites for the direct burial of bodies and for the burial of cremains in cemeteries. Over the years, I’ve conducted a lot of funerals and I’ve observed a lot of different funeral traditions and customs. I’ve tried to learn from those who are grieving and to serve them in ways that help them to move through grief towards healing.

On more than one occasion, I have officiated when the cremated remains of pets have been buried with the people who were their owners. Usually the family doesn’t want much said about the pet. It is important to them, but they don’t want to have much said publicly.

People have come up with some pretty dramatic ways for their remains to be disposed. The journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson specified that he wanted his body to be cremated and the remains to be shot from a canon from the top of a tower he had designed and built. When he died by suicide in 2005, his wishes were honored. It took about six months for the necessary permissions to be obtained from local government as well as planning the special fireworks to accompany the ashes in a display. A few hundred select people were allowed to watch.

The idea of launching human remains in fireworks was a part of the 2019 comedy movie, Poms, in which women living in a retirement community form a cheerleading group.

Launching human remains in a fireworks display is a job for professionals. If the desire is to have all of the remains go off in a single blast, a large shell is required. This isn't the kind of firework what you can purchase at a stand for home use on the 4th of July. These large shells can be used only by licensed pyrotechnics experts. And it is illegal to blast them off just anywhere. Permits and approvals are required.

An alternative to that is a symbolic version in which smaller fireworks, legal for individual use on certain holidays, are used to propel small amounts of human remains. Cremation reduces a human body to about three pounds of ashes which can be contained in a box about the size of a shoe box. These fireworks to which ashes can be added take only a very small amount of ashes, a tablespoon or less.

There are a lot of other ways in which a small amount of human cremains are handled. There are companies that make jewelry with a bit of ash in it, as a symbolic reminder of the presence of the loved one. Urns designed to hold human ashes can be placed in a columbarium niche at a cemetery. Some people keep the remains of their loved ones in urns displayed in their homes.

The topic of launching part of the cremains of a loved one in a firework came up recently when we were visiting with a friend who has a terminal illness. It is not possible to predict the span of this person’s life, but it is probably a matter of months rather than days. The circumstances should offer additional opportunities to discuss this person’s wishes and to allow family members to express their reactions to the idea.

The conversation, however, has gotten me to think a bit differently about the blasts of fireworks that have already begun in our neighborhood. Although it is illegal to blast off fireworks here before the actual 4th of July, some people aren’t waiting. We heard random blasts over a couple of hours last night and I’m sure there will be more tonight. It isn’t quite as wild as South Dakota, where there are fewer regulations and just as many people willing to push limits, but there are still plenty of blasts.

I assume that blasting a firework with part of a loved one might invite some ceremony, a prayer, or a few carefully chosen words. I’ve never been asked to bless fireworks, but I would consider it if asked. For my own preference, however, I think I am happy with something that isn’t quite as loud and creates less of a show. A secluded spot and a quiet prayer would do just fine. I’ll leave the fireworks to others.

Made in RapidWeaver