The stories of our people are filled with examples of events that push the limits of language. You can tell by reading the scriptures that what occurred was beyond the power of words to describe. The descriptions are fantastic, but it is obvious that the use of metaphor and simile simply are insufficient to express that which is beyond words. We don’t know exactly what happened on that first Pentecost. We know that the disciples had gathered. There was a sudden sound, but we can’t quite say what that sound was. What the Bible says is what it was like: “the rush of a violent wind.” In addition to the sound that filled the entire house where they were, there was a visual effect. Again a simile is used to describe: “as of fire.” It doesn’t say that it was fire, but that there were divided tongues as of fire.” We read that “devout Jews from every nation under heaven” were living in Jerusalem, that a crowd gathered and that the crowd was bewildered because thy heard the disciples speaking. Each heard the speaking in their native tongue.

The story of Pentecost, reported in Acts 2:1-21, is a challenge for readers, especially those who read it out loud, because it goes on to list the names of the different nationalities. All of those ancient place names present a challenge for proper pronunciation.

Peter, in interpreting what was going on to the gathered crowd sees a parallel in the words of the prophet Joel: “In the last days it will be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.”

Those words of the prophet have been coming to my mind as I have been thinking of Pentecost this year. I don’t know exactly how many Pentecost sermons I preached over the years, but it was a lot. Pentecost is the longest season of the church year, sometimes referred to as “ordinary time,” but the day of Pentecost, 50 days after Easter, is always an occasion for reflection upon the power and presence of the Holy Spirit in the life of the church.

The church is so much more than a social club. It is so much more than a mutual aid society. It is so much more than a group of people who want to do good for others. That “so much more” is hard to put into words. We, who live in the midst of the community, call it spirit.

One of our teachers, Ross Snyder, taught a course on practical ministry that was called “Spirit in the Aging Years.” When we were students of Ross, he was in his seventies and we always thought that his expertise in aging came from his own age, but he always taught from the perspective of a son of a mother in her nineties. How the “aging years” are defined depends on perspective.

I don’t know if I am one of the “old men” described by the prophet Joel. Maybe I haven’t lived long enough to qualify yet. Based on the average lifespan in the time of the prophet, however, I pretty much qualify. I’m not sure, however, that I have been dreaming the dreams that the prophet envisioned.

There was a time when I was good at daydreaming. I would imagine how things might change or what I might become. I would think of the future and how it would be different than the present. I imagined myself growing through the events of my adulthood and where I might be after years of living. Then the years passed much more quickly than I expected. I find myself a bit less imaginative these days. I often confess to myself that I can’t imagine how things will unfold for our grandchildren. I try to imagine their future, but I know that my imagination is limited when it comes to the possible changes they will experience.

The season of Covid has so radically changed the way we pursue community as a church that I am not sure how to be an elder of vision as imagined by Joel. Often I am swept up and confused like those witnesses to the Pentecost events. I don’t really know what is going on.

I have received the Post Card inviting participation in the annual meeting of the three conferences that make up the tri-conference of the United Church of Christ. It will be a virtual event, with speakers and workshops and business sessions all conducted over Zoom or some other computer media. Were I to participate, I would only watch. I wouldn’t have words to offer to other participants and the leaders aren’t imagining it to be an event where retired pastors take center stage. I look at such meetings as things I used to do. I once was the moderator of our conference. I served on committees planning annual meetings. I booked venues, I helped select banquet speakers, I planned worship, I struggled to shape agenda. I don’t think that is my role in the church these days. I am pleased to have fewer committee meetings to attend. I don’t need to be in charge.

It seems, however, that there has been a fundamental change in the way the church does business these days. The change wasn’t quite as dramatic as that first Pentecost, but a lot is different now than it was just one year ago.

I am trying very hard to listen to the call of the spirit. I’m not hearing a sound “like the rush of a violent wind.” I’m not experiencing “tongues as of fire.” Like Elijah sitting in his cave after fleeing, I haven’t found the voice of God in the earthquake, wind, and fire. I guess I need to be patient and wait for that still small voice. The vision will come, but it isn’t coming easily. And there are days when I feel very much like an old man.

Pentecost this year is a time of waiting for me. I know that I’ll discover the calling of the spirit. In the meantime, I’m looking forward to being able to gather in person with other faithful people.