When we were in graduate school, we were invited to share Thanksgiving dinner with a second cousin of mine who lived in a suburb of Chicago. We were living a long way from home and hungry for family contact and enjoyed our dinner despite the fact that the relatives were fairly distant and not well known. As we were visiting we learned that they had a box of fancy dinnerware that had belonged to our host’s mother, a great aunt of my mother whom I had known from family gatherings. They, especially the wife, were eager to dispose of the large box of china. She had checked the value of the dishes and found that it was a fairly common pattern and it would be difficult to sell and if sold would bring a low price. Somehow, we ended up accepting the box and its contents as a gift. We were students living in an efficiency apartment. We didn’t have cupboard space for the dishes. The box went into a storage area in the basement of our apartment building. We did, however, find a couple of occasions during our student years when we got out the china and used it for special dinners. Later, when we had a home of our own, we found space for it in a cupboard.

Many years later, after Susan’s mother passed away, we became the owners of the fancy dishes that she had collected. Now we had two sets of fancy dishes. Fortunately for us, we were able to give the first set of china to the daughter of a cousin who was newly wed. We now have only one set of fancy dishes. That set resides in a box in storage at present, but there is some hope we may find a home for it in our house as we settle.

I recently read an article in Forbes that listed “ten things that your children don’t want.” On that list was fine dinnerware. The article challenged, “As yourself, when was the las time you witnessed your grown son using a saucer?” Point taken. Furthermore, the article went on to say that most people our age have at least one set of fine dishes that no other family member wants to have. It suggested that the best way to dispose of the dishes is to find a replacement company that buys per piece.

I know that fancy dishes don’t bring much money. I’ve watched a lot of church rummage sales where the pieces are sold for pennies on the dollar of the original price. The greatest value we will get our of dishes is that of using them ourselves and remembering those who have gone before us who valued them. The day will likely come when we have to say good bye to them and we aren’t likely to find a family member who wants them.

According to Forbes, silver flatware is in the same category. Formal entertaining isn’t a priority for our children’s generation. Besides, real silver has to be hand-washed and dried and then polished. The same goes for silver-plated trays, candy dishes, serving bowls and candelabra. Objects that have been valuable to our generation and, often to our parents and grandparents, are likely not going to be treasured by our children and grandchildren.

The list of objects that our children don’t want includes Persian rugs, antique furniture, especially furniture with dark wood, and linens. No worries for us with the linens. We don’t have any fancy linens. Our old sheets are pretty much threadbare and we use our towels and the few tablecloths that we own. We haven’t much to give away in that department. Furniture, on the other hand, is a challenge for us. We own several pieces that have been in the family for multiple generations. We didn’t pay to obtain them, we received them as a gift from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. We are well aware that we own few true antiques that have monetary value. Still, it seems sad to think of these things leaving our family.

I giggled at the suggestion of the Forbes article that the way to dispose of collectables is to find a retirement home that does a gift exchange at Christmas and donate the collections to them. I’m not sure, but I don’t think that there are any nursing homes that have any interest in my collection of John Deere toys. I think that their best value is probably to allow the grandchildren to play with them when they come to visit, knowing that the paint will get rubbed off and some of the small parts will be broken. I’ve already decided that I don’t want the chore of dusting row upon row of miniature tractors, combines and haying equipment as they sit on the edges of my bookshelves. Besides, I don’t have as many bookshelves as I used to have. There may not be room to display all of them. If I take the Forbes article seriously, I need to be thinking of a way to dispose of them. I’m pretty sure that the article is right and our children don’t want them.

Thrift stores are full of old trunks, used sewing machines and film projectors. We’ve got a couple of trunks, old, but not valuable as collectors items. They weren’t made by Louis Vuitton. And as for sewing machines, the only one in our house is regularly used and we need it. We do have a slide projector, but I have nearly finished scanning all of our slides into digital format ant I don’t think we’ve used that projector in at last ten years. It may be time for it to join the others at the local Good Will Store.

Forbes lists books as top among objects that we have that our children don’t want. As difficult as it was for me to downsize and give away boxes and boxes of books, it was a good exercise. I know I’ll have to go through a similar process each time we downsize in the future. I do, however, plan to have a few books around me even when I am down to a single room in a nursing home, or wherever I spend the last days of my life. Even if I loose my eyesight, my books have been my companions and it will feel good just to hold one in my hands. My leather bound bible that I used leading worship is sticking with me.

The category in the article that I loved the best, however, was what they called “Paper Ephemera.” It includes old photographs, greeting cards, post cards and other things written on paper. We’ve got boxes and boxes of the stuff. I think we have a small box of old greeting cards that were saved by relatives. We keep trying to sort it, but we always end up keeping some. For now, going through the boxes is keeping us entertained. I suppose our children may be able to throw away an entire box without sorting, but we can’t.

I’m not sure we can follow the recommendations of the article and get rid of all of the things we have that our children don’t want, but it is a challenge that will keep us engaged for years to come.