What makes your heart sing?

In 2006, we were fortunate to receive a Clergy Renewal Grant from the Lilly Endowment. These grants are awarded to clergy and congregations who have developed a strong relationship with each other. The grants fund sabbatical leave for the clergy person to pursue continuing education, rest and renewal. It has been a very successful program, extending the length of service for clergy and strengthening the bonds between pastor and congregation. One of the questions that was asked on the application for that grant has stuck with me through the rest of my life so far: “What makes your heart sing?”

Now, as was the case back then, one of the things that makes my heart sing is family. The children who grew up in our home have turned into creative and fascinating adults with whom I enjoy sharing time. Just being with them gives me joy. Now, however, their families have grown and we have become grandparents. The children of our children definitely make my heart sing.

Another thing that I wrote about in my essay was the joy of travel. In 2006, we spent a month in Alberta and British Columbia, camping and exploring. We also went to Australia with our adult children for a month of visiting friends and exploring that country. It should be no surprise to me that we raised children who also love to travel. As an adult our daughter has lived in Wyoming, Montana, New Jersey, England, Missouri, Japan and South Carolina. Our son has settled in the Pacific Northwest, country that we have enjoyed exploring for decades. South Carolina and Washington, however, are not close to each other. Making my heart sing will continue to involve travel.

Fortunately, we have Skype and FaceTime and phone plans with unlimited long distance. We can talk to our children whenever our schedules allow. Our children send us videos of their children that give us great joy. It isn’t, of course, the same as being together, but it is a wonderful way to maintain relationships over time and distance. I didn’t know it back in 2006, but hearing our 2-year-old grandson shout “Papa” definitely makes my heart sing even if it is over the digital device that I carry in my pocket.

Being semi-retired is a different pace of life than when we were both full-time working clergy. We have more time to pursue personal projects and more time to spend at home enjoying each other and our books. We are learning to use our leisure time creatively. Fortunately for us, we have found part-time ministry to ease that transition so that our lives have a balance of generativity and reflection.

I was thinking of that grant application again yesterday as we hopped in the car to head home after having run some errands for our house, taken a walk, and stopped at the grocery store for a couple of things. The day had been rainy and there were still plenty of dark clouds around, but we had found an hour without rain to take a good walk. In the late afternoon, the clouds began thinning to the west and the sun crept down below the cloud line. Usually those conditions make for brilliant rainbows, so we were scanning the sky, but had not yet seen a rainbow. As I drove, however, we were noting how the seagulls stood out against the dark sky, illuminated by the sunlight behind us. They were brilliant white. Then, we noticed a pair of birds that weren’t seagulls. I watched and sure enough the distinctive long-necked shape of a pair of trumpeter swans became clear. They are coming back. The swans live in this region for about half of the year and spend the other half of the year far north in Canada and Alaska. Each winter swans come by the tens of thousands: Trumpeters, Mutes, Tundras. Not long after the swans appear in the fall, the snow geese also begin to arrive. Last year the birds beat us to the Skagit Valley. We were still moving from South Dakota when the first birds arrived. However our first winter in Washington offered many opportunities to look at the magnificent birds and seeing and hearing trumpeter swans became a part of our daily routine. We missed them when they left for the north country. Now they are coming back. Seeing them yesterday made my heart sing.

Then, as we drove up the street to our home, the rainbow did appear. It wasn’t a full arch, which we had become used to in our years of living in the Black Hills, but there was a double base, extending up into the clouds and the brightest section of the rainbow appeared right behind our house. We drove into the garage, got out of our car and went upstairs to look out of our north-facing second-story window and there is was in all of its glory. The colors in the sky made my heart sing.

With a few exceptions, a Lily Clergy Renewal Grant is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Like many other things in life, it is precious in part because it is rare. One of the surprises of that gift is that there are many ways in which the experience has shaped our lives well beyond the close of the activities funded by the grant. The language of the application continues to resonate with me. The memories of our travels linger. More importantly, the connections between pastor and congregation have continued to be strong and meaningful.

The lead pastor of our congregation is the recipient of a 2022 Clergy Renewal Grant. She is now in the active phase of planning a sabbatical for next summer. When we have opportunities to talk about her plans, the anticipation and excitement are contagious. I already know that this will be an important experience not just for her and for her family, but also for our congregation. The grant will make more than one heart sing.

More importantly, I have discovered that I don’t need a gift of money to make my heart sing. I’m not applying for a grant; yet a pair of swans, a rainbow, and time with our children and grandchildren fill my heart with song.

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