Praying for the victims

We are traveling with my sister and so we have been talking about old times and old friends. One of our mutual friends, with whom we don’t have a lot of contact, stopped by to visit my sister recently and so I was interested to learn what I could about how things are going for hime at this stage of his life. One of the things that we found out about him that we did not know when we were children or teenagers, is that his father was terribly abusive to him and his brother. They were routinely beaten in ways that were cruel and terrible. Even more challenging for them as they grew up was that other adults in their lives - people who were important to them such as their mother and grandparents - knew about the abuse but did nothing to protect them. They might have been able to understand that their father had severe problems and didn’t know how to be a father, but the fact that the other adults didn’t come to their assistance and prevent further abuse gave them the impression that no adults could be trusted to protect them.

Now, so many years later, the effects of the trauma are still haunting their lives. Fortunately for them and for the rest of us, they did not turn out to be abusive themselves. They have suffered some broken relationships and have gone through some readjustments in their lives, but in the end their children have grown up without the trauma and terror that they experienced.

We know other stories of people our age who suffered abuse as children. We can’t think of any of them whose abuse was known to us when we were children. In the days of our growing up, things like child abuse were covered up. People didn’t speak of such things. And we now know that it was far more common than we ever knew.

Child abuse affects 7.8 million children in the United States each year. In over 90% of the cases the abuse is one of their parents, more frequently a father than a mother. In most of the other cases the abuser is in a relationship with a parent. A lot of children grow up with homes that aren’t safe for them. It is estimated that less than 75% of cases of abuse are ever investigated by officials. Researchers know that abusers were often themselves abused. A victim of abuse is far more likely to become an abusive parent. The cycle of violence is generational and passed down in a terrible chain of pain and anguish.

Researchers also have discovered that the effects of victimization last for an entire life. Post traumatic stress syndrome can show up years and even decades after the trauma is experienced. Victims of abuse struggle with anxiety, addiction and substance abuse, depression and other major illnesses that are a result of their victimization early in their lives. The pain does not stop when the beating comes to an end.

Boys are more likely to suffer physical abuse such as beatings and shaking. Girls are more likely to become the victims of sexual abuse and exploitation. Statistics on the death of children are incomplete, but about 5 children die as the result of abuse in the United States every day. Nearly half of the victims are under the age of 1 year.

When I was a grad school intern at a Family Service Center in Chicago, I was assigned to assist with the investigation of a case of child abuse for Child Protective Services of the City. The case for which I was assigned to interview the parents involved a child who was 11 months old and had suffered 11 broken bones and was currently in foster care while the investigation continued. The infant was nearly silent. I never heard it cry. It had learned that crying often brought intense pain and suffering. My involvement in the case was extremely brief and I do not know the story of what happened. It was still technically possible that the child could be returned to the home. The mother was certainly advocating for that when I was involved. Assuming that the child survived, it would be nearing 45 years old now. I have no information, so it is not meaningful to speculate, but if the child is still living it is clear that the child will still be dealing with the pain and trauma of the first few months of its life. Forty five years is a lot of suffering for an innocent victim. It is a lot of pain caused by parents who were not capable of the basic responsibility to keep their child safe from harm.

As Children’s Sabbath nears, it is appropriate the we offer our prayers for the innocent whose suffering is caused btyhose who should be sources of love and trust.

God who welcomes all of the children, you know of the deep suffering of the victims of abuse. It must bring tears of pain to you to witness the pain and suffering of innocent children. And you, O God, know how that suffering is experienced through the generations as victims themselves become abusers in a cycle of violence and pain. Open our eyes, gracious God, to the suffering of others. Help us to recognize the victims and become a part of the solution by reporting abuse and acting to end abuse and to provide safe homes for the victims and ongoing counseling and support throughout all of their lives. Teach us to see the ongoing suffering in the adults around us that is the result of their being abused as children. Give us the capacity to understand and support them as they deal with the anxiety, addiction and depression that they suffer. Help us to advocate for more services to assist them on their life journeys and early intervention to reduce the pain they experience. Make of our communities safe places for all of the victims. May they experience love and support and encounter people whom they can trust. In Christ we pray, Amen.

Copyright (c) 2020 by Ted E. Huffman. I wrote this. If you would like to share it, please direct your friends to my web site. If you'd like permission to copy, please send me an email. Thanks!

Made in RapidWeaver