Stranger danger
10/10/20 00:38
Our neighborhood has sidewalks in our common areas and I frequently take short walks around the neighborhood. There are some steep hills in our neighborhood, steep enough that I have wondered how steep of an angle you can pour concrete without having it come out uneven due to the slope. I was taking a walk yesterday and starting down one of the steepest slopes inn our area when I met a young boy, 5 or 6 years old, who had a hula hoop. He said, “Hello,” and I responded with a “Hello.” I was careful to slow my pace and keep my distance because I did not know the boy and so was a stranger and I didn’t want to appear threatening to him and I wanted to practice social distancing. I pulled up my face mask as well. He was excited and very talkative. “Watch this!” he said as he rolled the hula hoop down the hill and took off chasing it.” “Wow! That’s cool,” I responded. As he chased the hoop, I descended the sidewalk until I came within about 10 feet of where he was standing having caught the toy. “Today is my dad’s birthday!” he told me. “We got him a truck. Well, it’s a picture of a truck on a cake, but it isn’t a cake. It is a giant cookie. It is as big as a pizza, but it isn’t a pizza. It’s a cookie and it has a truck on it!” I said, “Your dad is a lucky guy.” “Yeah!” was the response. Then h said “Goodbye!” and ran to the top of the steep hill while I continued on my walk.
I was delighted with the conversation and happy to have met a child in our neighborhood whom I hadn’t previously known. He seemed very at home in his world and most likely lived in the house right next to the hill, where I had noticed that the garage door was open when I walked by.
As I continued my walk, I thought of our conversation and how much it delighted me. I also was aware that we live in a world where not every conversation between an adult and a child is a safe conversation. I know that parents need to teach their children about “stranger danger,” and that they shouldn’t talk to strangers. While our neighborhood is a very safe place, it just makes sense for parents to keep a close watch on their children and to teach their children a few rules of safety. Still, it makes me a bit sad that we often miss simple and wonderful conversations like the report of the giant birthday cookie.
A few years ago we were at a playground with our grandson and his mother. I had my camera and was taking pictures of my grandson as he played on a climbing structure with several slides. After a few minutes, a young woman approached me and asked me who I was and what I was doing. I introduced myself and told her I was photographing my grandson. I also pointed out that I was with his mother and grandmother, who were sitting on a nearby bench. She said, “You just looked suspicious, an older man taking pictures of children at a playground.” Later, as I reported the exchange to my wife and daughter, I found myself feeling very sad that I had somehow come off as threatening to a young mother. I worked with children for much of my life. I have taken hundreds of pictures of preschool children, including a few that are published in a book and others that are treasured by the children’s parents. I care deeply about the safety of children. But somehow we live in a world where I look suspicious to a mother and she sees me as a possible threat to children. It made me sad.
I know that I have become very careful when I am around children who don’t know me. I might say, “Hello” but never pursue much more conversation unless it is initiated by the child. I am careful to keep my distance and not to make any gestures that might frighten the child. I am very careful not to get between a child and his or her mother. I try, to the best of my ability to not pose any kind of a threat, though wearing face masks makes this a bit of a challenge these days.
The truth is that we live in a society where children aren’t always safe. There are adults who harm children. We all have heard stories of child abductions and of unspeakable violence against children. Although child abduction by a stranger is fairly rare, it does occur and it makes sense for parents to teach children some basic rules for their safety. Still, I don’t like the idea that I appear as a threat to others. Whenever I speak with a child, I am very careful of what I say and do to make sure that I pose no threat to the child. I hope that the parents are nearby to hear what is said and witness what occurs. Our prayer vigil includes our prayers for the safety of children.
God of all history, we long for a world where all children are safe from threat and violence. We work to make our neighborhoods safe for children. Help us to face our fears and teach us to be realistic about the dangers to children in our world. Bless children with safe places to learn and grow and explore that they might develop trust in the people around them. Inspire their parents to seek out experiences for them that expand their world and help them to know how to get help when they need it. May they find room to explore and expand their relationships and may they find joy in meeting new people and having new experiences. Bless them with safety and security. Give peace to their parents as they learn and grow. Amen.
I was delighted with the conversation and happy to have met a child in our neighborhood whom I hadn’t previously known. He seemed very at home in his world and most likely lived in the house right next to the hill, where I had noticed that the garage door was open when I walked by.
As I continued my walk, I thought of our conversation and how much it delighted me. I also was aware that we live in a world where not every conversation between an adult and a child is a safe conversation. I know that parents need to teach their children about “stranger danger,” and that they shouldn’t talk to strangers. While our neighborhood is a very safe place, it just makes sense for parents to keep a close watch on their children and to teach their children a few rules of safety. Still, it makes me a bit sad that we often miss simple and wonderful conversations like the report of the giant birthday cookie.
A few years ago we were at a playground with our grandson and his mother. I had my camera and was taking pictures of my grandson as he played on a climbing structure with several slides. After a few minutes, a young woman approached me and asked me who I was and what I was doing. I introduced myself and told her I was photographing my grandson. I also pointed out that I was with his mother and grandmother, who were sitting on a nearby bench. She said, “You just looked suspicious, an older man taking pictures of children at a playground.” Later, as I reported the exchange to my wife and daughter, I found myself feeling very sad that I had somehow come off as threatening to a young mother. I worked with children for much of my life. I have taken hundreds of pictures of preschool children, including a few that are published in a book and others that are treasured by the children’s parents. I care deeply about the safety of children. But somehow we live in a world where I look suspicious to a mother and she sees me as a possible threat to children. It made me sad.
I know that I have become very careful when I am around children who don’t know me. I might say, “Hello” but never pursue much more conversation unless it is initiated by the child. I am careful to keep my distance and not to make any gestures that might frighten the child. I am very careful not to get between a child and his or her mother. I try, to the best of my ability to not pose any kind of a threat, though wearing face masks makes this a bit of a challenge these days.
The truth is that we live in a society where children aren’t always safe. There are adults who harm children. We all have heard stories of child abductions and of unspeakable violence against children. Although child abduction by a stranger is fairly rare, it does occur and it makes sense for parents to teach children some basic rules for their safety. Still, I don’t like the idea that I appear as a threat to others. Whenever I speak with a child, I am very careful of what I say and do to make sure that I pose no threat to the child. I hope that the parents are nearby to hear what is said and witness what occurs. Our prayer vigil includes our prayers for the safety of children.
God of all history, we long for a world where all children are safe from threat and violence. We work to make our neighborhoods safe for children. Help us to face our fears and teach us to be realistic about the dangers to children in our world. Bless children with safe places to learn and grow and explore that they might develop trust in the people around them. Inspire their parents to seek out experiences for them that expand their world and help them to know how to get help when they need it. May they find room to explore and expand their relationships and may they find joy in meeting new people and having new experiences. Bless them with safety and security. Give peace to their parents as they learn and grow. Amen.
