Learning from others
27/01/19 05:16
Once, when traveling in Australia, we witnessed a minor car accident in a city. No one was hurt, but there was a little damage to two cars. The driver of one of the vehicles was saying to the other, “No worries, mate.” It struck us and we talked about it later. In many American cities the scene would have been different with the drivers shouting at one another, declaring and denying blame. The calm acknowledgement that there are things more important than a bit of bent sheet metals a good way to think about things. Our son was especially touched by the event and has tried to emulate the attitude in his life. Decide what is most important and focus on that while allowing the things that don’t matter to slip away. His attitude has been tested in the last couple of weeks when both of their cars were involved in accidents caused by other drivers. I have been impressed with his calm and reassuring attitude as he tackles and solves the problems of sorting out insurance, getting things repaired, arranging for rental vehicles and getting on with their lives.
It isn’t a very extreme example, but there are lessons that we can learn from other people. Sometimes there are cultural lessons that can be learned through travel. I’m sure that there are ways to learn to be calm in a stressful situation that don’t require a big trip, but we’ve learned that travel can be a good way to learn.
I’ve spent a lot of my life rushing from one thing to another. I packed a lot into the years when I was a full-time student, completing multiple internships while studying full time and earning my degrees in a short amount of time. I continued to keep up that pace as I entered the pastoral ministry, often being able to accomplish more than some of my colleagues. In the early years of my ministry I always had one or more part time jobs on the side while working full time at the church and learned to balance all of those activities without trouble. Visiting Costa Rica on church mission trips taught me something important about my tendency to rush about. Sometimes it makes sense to simply slow down. I noticed that I walk faster than most people on the street in Costa Rica. I noticed that I sweat more than some of the locals. I started to learn to slow down just a bit. I had to learn the value of the term mañana. Having studied Latin, I thought that the concept was based in the term mane or “in the morning.” I expected the term to mean “tomorrow,” and perhaps even “tomorrow morning.” But that isn’t at all the way it is used in Costa Rica. It doesn’t mean tomorrow in the sense that we use that day - referring to the next day. It simply means “not today.” It isn’t used as a prediction of when something will occur, just as a statement that it isn’t going to occur today. When something is mañana, you don’t have to worry about it now. Learning to put off events or activities to a nonspecific time is not something that occurs naturally to me. When I delay something, I like to know when it will be completed. But the concept of mañana can be liberating. It can free one to relax and not worry. Things will work out in their own time.
Leaning calmness is something that I have gained from our Japanese friends and our trip to Japan. There are several Japanese concepts that have great value for someone with a personality like mine. Mugon-no gyō is a specific meditative practice and I am not trained in the discipline, but the basic concept is that one develops and practices the skill of pausing to reflect before taking action. Instead of reacting in the instant, a pause allows for deliberative action. We train ourselves to be able to act quickly and decisively. When I was training to be a pilot, I memorized emergency checklists and procedures. The goal was to make them so much a part of my identity that they didn’t require reflection or conscious thought - I would be able to act decisively and appropriately in the event of an emergency. I never really experienced such an emergency in my flying, but I tried to keep my skills honed. In much of life, however, such an ability to react without reflection isn’t required - and in many cases it can be a detriment. Teaching myself to pause, listen and reflect before speaking can greatly enhance communication. There are times when conversation is deeply enhanced by a slower pace. When I spend time with people from Japan, I am grateful for the slightly slower pace of conversation.
Japanese culture also has specific terms for assuming a courteous attitude, for taking time to appreciate the beauty in nature, and for caring for detail. Learning Japanese words does not come naturally to me and I need to take more time to fully incorporate Japanese cultural concepts, but I can see the value of may of those ideas. In recent years, Japan has endured many tremendous disasters and strains. Huge earthquakes, tsunamis and typhoons have battered the island, caused many casualties and necessitated large changes in lifestyle for many people. In Japanese, shōganai is a concept that involves accepting things the way that they are, or accepting that there are things we don’t have the power to control. Like many deep cultural concepts, a dictionary doesn’t work to translate the concept. The dictionary definition is “there is no means or method,” but Japanese people do not use this to express a sense of hopelessness or loss of control. I suspect that the concept has deep roots in Shintoism which emphasizes living in harmony with nature. Accepting the massive power of nature and forces that are beyond human capacity is part of this concept.
There is much that I have yet to learn and there are many teachers. Travel and meeting people form other places is one of those teachers. I need to learn to appreciate the journey at a slower pace.
It isn’t a very extreme example, but there are lessons that we can learn from other people. Sometimes there are cultural lessons that can be learned through travel. I’m sure that there are ways to learn to be calm in a stressful situation that don’t require a big trip, but we’ve learned that travel can be a good way to learn.
I’ve spent a lot of my life rushing from one thing to another. I packed a lot into the years when I was a full-time student, completing multiple internships while studying full time and earning my degrees in a short amount of time. I continued to keep up that pace as I entered the pastoral ministry, often being able to accomplish more than some of my colleagues. In the early years of my ministry I always had one or more part time jobs on the side while working full time at the church and learned to balance all of those activities without trouble. Visiting Costa Rica on church mission trips taught me something important about my tendency to rush about. Sometimes it makes sense to simply slow down. I noticed that I walk faster than most people on the street in Costa Rica. I noticed that I sweat more than some of the locals. I started to learn to slow down just a bit. I had to learn the value of the term mañana. Having studied Latin, I thought that the concept was based in the term mane or “in the morning.” I expected the term to mean “tomorrow,” and perhaps even “tomorrow morning.” But that isn’t at all the way it is used in Costa Rica. It doesn’t mean tomorrow in the sense that we use that day - referring to the next day. It simply means “not today.” It isn’t used as a prediction of when something will occur, just as a statement that it isn’t going to occur today. When something is mañana, you don’t have to worry about it now. Learning to put off events or activities to a nonspecific time is not something that occurs naturally to me. When I delay something, I like to know when it will be completed. But the concept of mañana can be liberating. It can free one to relax and not worry. Things will work out in their own time.
Leaning calmness is something that I have gained from our Japanese friends and our trip to Japan. There are several Japanese concepts that have great value for someone with a personality like mine. Mugon-no gyō is a specific meditative practice and I am not trained in the discipline, but the basic concept is that one develops and practices the skill of pausing to reflect before taking action. Instead of reacting in the instant, a pause allows for deliberative action. We train ourselves to be able to act quickly and decisively. When I was training to be a pilot, I memorized emergency checklists and procedures. The goal was to make them so much a part of my identity that they didn’t require reflection or conscious thought - I would be able to act decisively and appropriately in the event of an emergency. I never really experienced such an emergency in my flying, but I tried to keep my skills honed. In much of life, however, such an ability to react without reflection isn’t required - and in many cases it can be a detriment. Teaching myself to pause, listen and reflect before speaking can greatly enhance communication. There are times when conversation is deeply enhanced by a slower pace. When I spend time with people from Japan, I am grateful for the slightly slower pace of conversation.
Japanese culture also has specific terms for assuming a courteous attitude, for taking time to appreciate the beauty in nature, and for caring for detail. Learning Japanese words does not come naturally to me and I need to take more time to fully incorporate Japanese cultural concepts, but I can see the value of may of those ideas. In recent years, Japan has endured many tremendous disasters and strains. Huge earthquakes, tsunamis and typhoons have battered the island, caused many casualties and necessitated large changes in lifestyle for many people. In Japanese, shōganai is a concept that involves accepting things the way that they are, or accepting that there are things we don’t have the power to control. Like many deep cultural concepts, a dictionary doesn’t work to translate the concept. The dictionary definition is “there is no means or method,” but Japanese people do not use this to express a sense of hopelessness or loss of control. I suspect that the concept has deep roots in Shintoism which emphasizes living in harmony with nature. Accepting the massive power of nature and forces that are beyond human capacity is part of this concept.
There is much that I have yet to learn and there are many teachers. Travel and meeting people form other places is one of those teachers. I need to learn to appreciate the journey at a slower pace.