Living the good life

Last night we were talking on FaceTime with our son. The weather is warm where they live. Spring has come and the whole family was outside. About a third of their yard is garden and the greens are all up: lettuce, collard greens, kale. The tops of the beets are lush and thick, the potatoes are starting to show above ground and even the corn is just appearing. It’s pretty amazing when compared with where we live. Our daffodils are appearing a bit defeated after having endured so many snowstorms. Our garden isn’t even planted.Our daughter-in-law was tending the garden with minimal help from their children from time to time while our son was responsible of taking care of his parents and the three children. Taking care of his parents involved carrying around his smart phone and aiming it at his children. The three children have varied interests, so with the phone in one hand, and sometimes propped on the top of the rain barrel, he was pitching a wife ball to his eight-year-old son, who has a pretty good swing with the bat these days. The almost-five-year-old daughter was sort of acting as an outfielder, running down some of the long hits, but easily distracted by the appearance of a frog and later a small lizard. Meanwhile the toddler, not quite two, was exploring everything, which required frequent attention from her father. Usually a stern warning was enough to turn her around when she haded too close to the street or to the water in the ditch, but it took part of our son’s attention to keep up with her and occasionally, he’d run out of the picture and return with a toddler in his arms, who’d soon squirm and head off exploring again.

At one point, off camera, we heard a bit of a gasp and a few seconds later, our son returned to the picture with wet hair and some water spots on his shirt, saying, “You know when a toddler picks up the hose you’re going to get wet, but that caught me by surprise!”

It is just everyday life in their family, but it gives me such intense pleasure to watch. I’ve enjoyed every phase of being a father. I really loved playing with our kids when they were young. I enjoyed their school programs and projects. I got a kick out of exploring the world with them. I remember those years with great fondness and joy. Watching our son so enjoying being a father is one of life’s sweetest pleasures. I know how good it feels to play with your kids.

Sometimes, when I am with those who are grieving they will apologize for crying. I always try to reassure them and remind them that crying is natural and good for us. “It’s OK, we’re waterproof!” I’ll say as I hand them a box of tissues. It’s true. We are waterproof. As one who loves canoes, I’ve fallen into the lake more often than some. I’m a huge proponent of personal flotation devices (PFDs) and In insist that we all wear them whenever we’re around the boats. We’ve purchased quality PFDs for all of our grandchildren and keep a few spares for adults on hand whenever we take our boats to the water.

Life with children is messy. Glasses of water, milk, and juice get spilled. Experiments don’t always go the way you’d planned. Learning to pour involves missing the target. Washing hands can get the entire counter and sometimes the mirror splashed. And when a toddler gets ahold of the hose, it is a race to see if you can get it turned off before she pulls the trigger. And even when the hose is turned off, there’s enough residual pressure in the line to get you wet. It’s amazing how someone who has no aim at all when pouring water from one glass to another can be perfectly accurate when aiming the hose nozzle.

An hour earlier we had been talking to our daughter in Japan who was excitedly showing us some of the clothing they have for a baby due to be born in late July. It is their first and they are at least as excited as we are. She’s picked out an outfit for the little one to wear home from the hospital when he’s born. I, trying to be a sage dad, advised that she should have a “backup” outfit selected. Babies don’t always keep a single outfit clean enough to make even a short public appearance. Furthermore, I commented, “It probably doesn’t matter much what he wears. So far, the pictures I’ve seen of the new British royal baby, Archie, have been only a blanket and a stocking cap.”

I know I can’t tell our daughter what it will feel like to hold that baby in her arms for the first time. I know her life will be filled with surprises, and not every one will make her laugh. And I am as grateful for the surprises as I am for the predictable elements of being a parent. Being a grandpa is a double pleasure because I get not only the joy of the child’s exploration of the world, but also the joy of the parent’s reaction. One of the surprises of my life is that I didn’t anticipate how wonderful it is to watch your children become parents.

There re days when I get annoyed with the world in which we live. I’m tired of constant chaos and scandal in our government. I am frustrated with having to shop online at web sites that don’t work well. I’d much prefer to shop in stores, and troubled when local stores close and force us to shop at the online giants, where monopolies are as bad as they are in bricks and mortar stores. I can go on and on with my frustrations with living in an increasingly secular society where people make a religion out of gods not worthy of their idolatry and worship at the altars of soccer and can’t give time to developing real faith. But I don’t stay annoyed and frustrated for long. A toddler with a hose in the middle of a backyard whiffleball game can take your mind off of your troubles.

I count myself among the most fortunate of people. I’m not ready to toss the technology into the garbage can. Despite my frustrations, the images of our children and grandchildren fill me with delight.

Copyright (c) 2019 by Ted E. Huffman. I wrote this. If you would like to share it, please direct your friends to my web site. If you'd like permission to copy, please send me an email. Thanks!