The pursuit of happiness
16/01/19 04:25
The journalist/philosopher/writer Pico Iyer uses the word “absorption” when speaking of happiness. His point is that people are happiest when they forget themselves. The process of becoming happy involves focusing attention away from self and get caught up in something bigger or other than ourselves. Consider the effects that music can have. When we experience music that moves us, we forget about the passage of time, we forget about our own pain and discomfort, we focus our attention on the music and it sweeps us away. Iyer would say we are absorbed into that music. I’ve discovered a very similar effect in a deep conversation. When I am truly listening to another person and experiencing their world through their words, my own concerns seem to fade into the background. There is something joyful about truly connecting with another person and allowing their life to enter into my own. Watching a sunrise from the surface of a lake in my canoe can be an experience of the vastness and beauty of the universe. I become almost unaware of my own body as I listen to birdsong and the quiet lapping of water on the boat and am surrounded by the glory of nature.
For me, and I think for Iyer, true joy is found in focusing one’s attention beyond the self. When I focus on my pain or my problems or how I am feeling, I experience whatever the opposite of transcendence is. Joy, therefore, is in part, a state of mind and a discipline of turning on’s focus away from the self.
The United States Declaration of Independence includes the often quoted phrase, “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” It is listed as one of the inalienable rights of humans. I think that we often miss the deeper meaning of this founding document because we think that it somehow means that we are owed feelings of pleasure. We turn our interpretation into a kind of selfish and self-absorbed vision. If I’m not happy, no one’s happy. I deserve to be made happy. What we miss in this way of thinking is that the true path to happiness is the path of paying attention to others - and becoming part of something bigger than oneself.
Paying attention to the wider community and its needs, understanding that there are some things that take generations to unfold, sensing that blessings may come to other people in other places - all of these foci are paths that might be taken in the pursuit of happiness. Imagine how differently we would think of our common life if we understood that the pursuit of happiness is he process of losing oneself in something bigger than the self.
I, you, and all of us, according to the framers of that Declaration, have an inalienable right to put the common good ahead of personal gain. There’s an idea worth pondering.
Some of the most joyful moments in my life have come not from my own accomplishments or talents, but rather from the realization that I’ve been swept up in a much larger enterprise. Holding our infant children was as close to pure joy as anything I’ve ever experienced. One of the great pleasures of this life is the honor of being enabled to hold a tiny child. Every baptism in which I participate is an experience of deep joy. There is something about being responsible, if only temporarily, for the safety and security of this tiny being that turns my attention away from myself and my problems and connects me with the flow of life through many generations. The past and future are bridged by the awareness that we are not created to be alone. We belong with other people. We belong to other people. Life is about something much greater and much more precious than a burst of emotion or a flash of personal pleasure.
Joy is a communal experience. That doesn’t mean that I can’t experience joy when I am all alone. I’ve already cited moments of being alone in nature in which I have experienced joy. The truth is that we are never alone. We are always in the presence of God. Our very bodies are made up of the elements of creation. Our genetic code has been residing with humans for millennia. To be human is to be comprised of bits and pieces of life that have been part of other life forms and have existed in other generations. Those elements will continue long after our lives on this earth.
One can become aware of the vastness of this universe by looking through a telescope or a microscope. You don’t have to focus on far away to discover the incredible complexity and interconnectedness of life. And it doesn’t require that you be a trained scientist with access to all kinds of fancy equipment, either. Simply hold a child and look into her or his eyes. Think of all of the incredible processes that are gong on inside of that tiny being to move the hands and toes and facial muscles. Digestion, respiration, circulation - such a complex system in such a tiny and fragile package. Imagine what this child might experience. The places it will go, the things it will see are far beyond the experiences that I will have. And when this child reaches old age a whole new generation will come along and open the future even wider than we can perceive. All of the elements of the past transported to a future that extends far beyond the span of my own life - it is a miracle indeed. And I feel joy.
Our lives would be richer, fuller and more joyful if we would simply remind ourselves that the source of joy is beyond our selves. Imagine how much more joyful we would be if we thought of our declaration as promising life, liberty, and the pursuit of a less selfish lifestyle.
If we would indeed pursue happiness, the first step is to place others before self.
For me, and I think for Iyer, true joy is found in focusing one’s attention beyond the self. When I focus on my pain or my problems or how I am feeling, I experience whatever the opposite of transcendence is. Joy, therefore, is in part, a state of mind and a discipline of turning on’s focus away from the self.
The United States Declaration of Independence includes the often quoted phrase, “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” It is listed as one of the inalienable rights of humans. I think that we often miss the deeper meaning of this founding document because we think that it somehow means that we are owed feelings of pleasure. We turn our interpretation into a kind of selfish and self-absorbed vision. If I’m not happy, no one’s happy. I deserve to be made happy. What we miss in this way of thinking is that the true path to happiness is the path of paying attention to others - and becoming part of something bigger than oneself.
Paying attention to the wider community and its needs, understanding that there are some things that take generations to unfold, sensing that blessings may come to other people in other places - all of these foci are paths that might be taken in the pursuit of happiness. Imagine how differently we would think of our common life if we understood that the pursuit of happiness is he process of losing oneself in something bigger than the self.
I, you, and all of us, according to the framers of that Declaration, have an inalienable right to put the common good ahead of personal gain. There’s an idea worth pondering.
Some of the most joyful moments in my life have come not from my own accomplishments or talents, but rather from the realization that I’ve been swept up in a much larger enterprise. Holding our infant children was as close to pure joy as anything I’ve ever experienced. One of the great pleasures of this life is the honor of being enabled to hold a tiny child. Every baptism in which I participate is an experience of deep joy. There is something about being responsible, if only temporarily, for the safety and security of this tiny being that turns my attention away from myself and my problems and connects me with the flow of life through many generations. The past and future are bridged by the awareness that we are not created to be alone. We belong with other people. We belong to other people. Life is about something much greater and much more precious than a burst of emotion or a flash of personal pleasure.
Joy is a communal experience. That doesn’t mean that I can’t experience joy when I am all alone. I’ve already cited moments of being alone in nature in which I have experienced joy. The truth is that we are never alone. We are always in the presence of God. Our very bodies are made up of the elements of creation. Our genetic code has been residing with humans for millennia. To be human is to be comprised of bits and pieces of life that have been part of other life forms and have existed in other generations. Those elements will continue long after our lives on this earth.
One can become aware of the vastness of this universe by looking through a telescope or a microscope. You don’t have to focus on far away to discover the incredible complexity and interconnectedness of life. And it doesn’t require that you be a trained scientist with access to all kinds of fancy equipment, either. Simply hold a child and look into her or his eyes. Think of all of the incredible processes that are gong on inside of that tiny being to move the hands and toes and facial muscles. Digestion, respiration, circulation - such a complex system in such a tiny and fragile package. Imagine what this child might experience. The places it will go, the things it will see are far beyond the experiences that I will have. And when this child reaches old age a whole new generation will come along and open the future even wider than we can perceive. All of the elements of the past transported to a future that extends far beyond the span of my own life - it is a miracle indeed. And I feel joy.
Our lives would be richer, fuller and more joyful if we would simply remind ourselves that the source of joy is beyond our selves. Imagine how much more joyful we would be if we thought of our declaration as promising life, liberty, and the pursuit of a less selfish lifestyle.
If we would indeed pursue happiness, the first step is to place others before self.